vows.you — Write wedding vows that sound like you

“Simple” wedding vows are not boring vows. They are clear, specific, and easy to say out loud. That matters because most ceremonies move fast: WeddingWire’s 2019 Newlywed Report says 70% of ceremonies are 30 minutes or less, and 44% of couples write their own vows. (So you are in very good company.)
Source: https://go.weddingwire.com/newlywed-report/2019

If you want a guided flow that turns prompts into vows (plus read-time practice so you don’t overrun the room), that’s what vows.you is built for. We highly reccomend you give their free version a test while you are waying options. That said, you can absolutely write strong vows with the framework and examples below. Best of luck. We are rooting for you!

How long should “simple” vows be?

A widely cited guideline is 250 to 300 words, which is about 2 minutes at an average speaking pace of 125 to 150 words per minute.
Source: https://www.theknot.com/content/tips-for-writing-your-own-wedding-vows

Zola’s guidance is broader: 30 seconds to 3 minutes depending on your ceremony format and comfort level.
Source: https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/average-wedding-vow-length

Practical targets (useful in real weddings)

Short + simple (safe for most): 60–90 seconds (about 130–200 words)
Classic: 2 minutes (about 250–300 words)
Long but still okay: 2:30 (about 315–375 words)

The best “simple” vows usually land in the short-to-classic range.

The simplest vow structure that still hits emotionally

Use this 4-part formula. It works because it’s easy to follow and easy to deliver.

One grounding line (why today matters)
One specific memory (a real moment that proves your love is real)
3 to 6 promises (concrete, livable)
A closing line (choose them, clearly)

A cheat code for “not cringy”

Be specific. Replace vague lines (“you’re amazing”) with a tiny proof moment (“you stayed on the phone with me for an hour when…”).

Relationship science supports why this lands: closeness grows when someone feels understood, validated, and cared for (often called perceived partner responsiveness). In vows, “specific proof” signals: I see you accurately.
Source: https://www.sas.rochester.edu/psy/people/faculty/reis_harry/assets/pdf/ReisClarkHolmes_2004.pdf

Gratitude also shows up in relationship research as a meaningful relationship “booster” when it focuses on everyday, real benefits.
Source: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/Algoe-Gable-Maisel-2010-Its-the-little-things.pdf

Promises that sound strong (without sounding like a movie)

Simple promises are:

behavioral (“I will do X”)
realistic (“I will repair after conflict”)
relationship-protective (“I will protect our time”)

Examples of strong “simple” promises:

“I promise to be honest and kind at the same time.”
“I promise to listen first, not win.”
“I promise to keep choosing us on normal days.”
“I promise to celebrate your wins and show up for your hard days.”
“I promise to keep learning you.”

Simple wedding vows examples

These are labeled “men” and “women” because you asked, but anyone can use any version. Choose the one that sounds closest to your voice and swap in your specifics.

Simple Wedding Vows Examples for Men

Example 1 (warm, straightforward)

I love you for the way you show up. Not in big speeches, but in the small things you do when no one is watching. You make my life calmer, better, and more honest.

I promise to protect our relationship, not just our plans.
I promise to listen with patience, especially when I’m tired or stressed.
I promise to be your teammate, not your critic.
I promise to celebrate you out loud and support what matters to you.
And I promise to keep choosing you on ordinary days, not just the big ones.

I choose you with my whole heart. I’m proud to be your partner, and I can’t wait to build a life with you.

(Approx. 150–170 words)

Example 2 (slightly funny, still simple)

I’m not the best at big emotional speeches, but I’m very good at loving you. You make the ordinary parts of life feel lighter, and you make me want to be a better man.

I promise to keep showing up.
I promise to tell you the truth kindly.
I promise to apologize faster and repair sooner.
I promise to make time for us, even when life gets busy.
And I promise to keep dating you, even after today.

I love you. I choose you. And I’m grateful I get to do life with you.

(Approx. 140–160 words)

Example 3 (more traditional tone, still personal)

Today I stand here and choose you, in front of everyone we love. I love who you are and how you love. You make me feel understood, and you make our home feel like a safe place.

I promise to respect you and protect your peace.
I promise to be steady when life gets hard.
I promise to be faithful in my words, my actions, and my priorities.
I promise to keep learning you as we grow and change.
And I promise to build a marriage that feels kind, honest, and strong.

I choose you today and every day.

(Approx. 160–190 words)

Simple Wedding Vows Examples for Women

Example 1 (soft, heartfelt, not cheesy)

I love you in the way you love me: patiently, consistently, and without trying to change who I am. With you, I feel safe being fully myself.

I promise to be honest and gentle with your heart.
I promise to communicate, not shut down.
I promise to keep choosing us, especially when life gets loud.
I promise to celebrate your wins and stand with you in hard seasons.
And I promise to keep our love practical, not just poetic, by showing up.

I choose you with joy. I’m so grateful I get to be your partner.

(Approx. 150–180 words)

Example 2 (confident, modern, simple)

You are my favorite person to do life with. You make me laugh, you make me think, and you make me feel cared for in a way that’s steady and real.

I promise to be your peace, not your pressure.
I promise to listen with curiosity, not defensiveness.
I promise to speak kindly, especially when I’m stressed.
I promise to keep our relationship a priority.
And I promise to build a home with you that feels warm, honest, and safe.

I love you. I choose you. Let’s build something beautiful.

(Approx. 140–170 words)

Example 3 (romantic but still grounded)

I knew I loved you not because everything became perfect, but because life became clearer. Being with you feels like coming home.

I promise to keep our love simple and strong.
I promise to be faithful, present, and consistent.
I promise to repair after conflict and never treat you like the enemy.
I promise to keep noticing you, even in routine seasons.
And I promise to grow with you, not away from you.

I choose you today, and I will keep choosing you.

(Approx. 160–190 words)

How to personalize these in 5 minutes

Pick one example and swap in:

One specific memory: “I knew it when…”
One everyday detail: “I love how you…”
One future promise: “In the next chapter, I will…”

If you want prompts that pull those specifics out of your head fast (and then help you practice the timing), use vows.you.

Sources and further reading

WeddingWire 2019 Newlywed Report (ceremony length + % writing vows):
https://go.weddingwire.com/newlywed-report/2019
The Knot: vow word count + speaking pace guideline (250–300 words; 125–150 wpm):
https://www.theknot.com/content/tips-for-writing-your-own-wedding-vow
Zola: average vow length guidance (30 seconds to 3 minutes):
https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/average-wedding-vow-length
Reis, Clark, & Holmes (PDF): perceived partner responsiveness and intimacy/closeness (why “specific proof” matters):
https://www.sas.rochester.edu/psy/people/faculty/reis_harry/assets/pdf/ReisClarkHolmes_2004.pdf
Algoe, Gable, & Maisel (PDF): gratitude as a “booster shot” in romantic relationships (why specific appreciation lands):
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/Algoe-Gable-Maisel-2010-Its-the-little-things.pdf

Simple Wedding Vow Examples